Click, Book, Go: Transportation Travel Hacks

The pros and cons of booking transportation online. Don’t get stuck at the station. Try these online booking tips for buses, trains and ferries.

OK, play along. 

Come up with a list of your favorite things about traveling. 

Is arranging transportation on there?

Didn’t think so.

When planning your travels, you’re more likely to envision sipping from a fresh coconut on a beach, wandering a city or challenging your body with a hike.

Even booking your accommodation can be fun as you sort through luxury resorts, boutique hotels or comfortable homestays. 

But transportation? Who actually enjoys figuring out those logistics, especially if they’re complicated? People who have found the right platforms and technology to solve all their transport woes — that’s who!

Technology makes travel easier

Google Maps has revolutionized the way we travel. Within seconds, we can find out how to get from Point A to B. However, its functionality is still limited.  

Google doesn’t always tell you where to book your tickets or, most of the time, how much they cost. That’s where online transportation booking platforms step in. 

Book transport stress-free 

With Bookaway, for example, you can search and compare bus, train, and ferry tickets in 128 countries worldwide. Their website offers over 80,000 travel routes, so you’re likely to find what you need. 

You can also see the price, duration, pick-up/drop-off locations and even photos of what the transport will be like — things you probably want to know when booking a 12-hour bus journey. 

Arranging transportation for your travels doesn’t sound so bad now, does it? 

Booking online vs. booking in person

Being able to book bus, train and ferry tickets online has made traveler’s lives so much easier. 

Yet some travelers still argue it’s better to book in person, so let’s take a look at the pros and cons of booking transportation online.

Pros of booking transportation online

• You can organize and book your transport before you even get to the country.

• You don’t have to spend time and money getting to and from the booking office or station to get your tickets. 

• You can avoid language barrier struggles. 

• There’s often 24-hour customer service if you need help with your booking. 

Cons of booking transportation online 

• There may be more transportation routes and times available than what are shown online.

• Some routes might be more expensive than booking in person. 

• You get to practice your foreign language skills when booking tickets in real life. 

Travel Hacks for Happy Trips

By this point, you’ve hopefully realized there’s no need to dread organizing your transport. 

The next step is to figure out how to make the journey a more enjoyable experience. Believe it or not, equipped with the right tools, a 12-hour bus trek or six-hour ferry can actually be pleasant. 

Best tips and tricks to make travel days easier

1. Have everything organized beforehand. Know where you’re leaving from, have tickets printed out if needed and give yourself plenty of time. 

2. Download podcasts, movies and TV shows. Save your data. A book is also great if you don’t get motion sick. 

3. To continue enjoying the above, ensure you have a portable charger. Running out of battery on your phone is stressful and not fun. Especially since, for most of us, our phones are also our cameras.

4. Bring a sweatshirt or sweater just in case the air conditioning is blasting. At times, it might be welcomed; at others, it might feel like the Arctic. 

5. Come equipped with plenty of snacks and water. Being hungry and bored is a horrible combination. 

Organizing transport doesn’t have to suck

Go back to that list of your favorite things about traveling. After reading this, we hope booking your transportation can be added to it.

After all, planning is half the fun of travel! –Kate Woodley

Do’s and Don’ts for a Safe and Healthy Trip to Bali

A ride-share app to help you get around, things you can do to avoid getting sick, and what gay tourists need to know before a visit to Bali.

With its stunning beaches and rich cultural legacy, Bali remains a popular travel destination. The Ngurah Rai Immigration Office reported that over 2.1 million tourists flew to Bali in 2022, and some sources say that number rose to 5 million visitors last year.

But here’s the twist: With all those seeking a slice of paradise comes the downside of overcrowded beaches, attractions swarming with tourists and nightmarish traffic, not to mention instances of tourists behaving badly. The province is considering implementing a tourist tax, according to Time, to address the environmental impact of tourism, offsetting it with local infrastructure development. 

The welcoming nature of the Island of the Gods and its residents is often disrupted by “nuisance” foreigners who disregard local laws and commit social taboos. At the same time, your trip may be marred by health issues if you don’t take the proper precautions — even though no vaccinations are currently required to visit. To truly enjoy the idyllic and tropical experience of Bali, here are some things to keep in mind to help protect you as a tourist and pay respect to your travel destination.

A ride-share app could make getting around Bali a whole lot easier.

Do use trusted transport. 

As the number of tourists continues to rise and construction projects spring up all over the island, it’s likely you’ll encounter traffic congestion at some point. The majority of the island’s roads are narrow and winding, creating challenges for cars, trucks and buses to pass each other. Consequently, locals have raised transportation prices for tourists, who reluctantly accept these rates due to a lack of alternative options for reaching their destination.

Visitors just might be able to avoid this by using ride-hailing apps like Grab to call a car or motorbike for transport. It offers fixed rates per booking, so you won’t be surprised by additional costs. The app also monitors every ride to detect unsafe scenarios and sends an alert to users in case they need support. 

A lot of beds on Bali have mosquito netting — and for good reason.

Do use mosquito repellent.

Bali's tropical climate, high rainfall and humid conditions create the perfect breeding ground for mosquitoes. In the first quarter of 2023, approximately 2,470 cases of dengue fever were reported, with patients exhibiting symptoms such as high fever, nausea and rashes. In extreme cases, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) recommends using products with DEET to protect from mosquito-borne illnesses. Brands that have this ingredient are Off! and Coleman, which you can purchase before your trip.

Heatwaves in Bali are 30 times more common now because of climate change, according to the Indonesian Meteorology, Climatology and Geophysics Agency.

Do maximize sun protection.

Bali’s great any time of year, and as part of Indonesia, has subtle weather changes. From May to September, it’s mostly dry, sunny and warm, while the wet season occurs from November to March. But any time you go, it’s going to be hot. To reduce the risk of sunburn and skin cancer, protect yourself by using a broad-spectrum sunscreen with an SPF rating of at least 30 and consider wearing layers, such as a lightweight long-sleeve shirt.

And remember to safeguard your eyes. Prolonged exposure to UV rays can lead to photokeratitis, akin to sunburn on your eyes, and puts you at risk of cataracts. So try using anti-glare sunglasses with polarized lenses to shield against the Bali sun while maintaining good vision. This is why it pays to invest in a brand known for providing good eye protection. The lenses on Ray-Ban sunglasses, for example, have enhanced UV protection and provide maximum glare reduction to help your vision adjust more easily in sunny areas. And since you can get these lenses on the iconic Wayfarer or classic Aviators, you can add to the style factor of your Bali look.

Touristy areas are more likely to have filtered water and ice, but that doesn’t mean you should ever drink the tap water. One of the first things you should do is get a bottle of water to put in your bathroom for when you brush your teeth.

Don’t drink the tap water.

Visitors to Bali sometimes experience “Bali belly,” which causes them to experience diarrhea, abdominal pain, loss of appetite and nausea. It’s often caused by contamination, as the body isn’t accustomed to unfamiliar bacteria found in local water sources and food. As such, it’s best to only drink bottled or filtered water during your stay. And if you want an iced drink, go to a higher-end café or one that caters to tourists — and make sure you ask that the ice is made from filtered water. Or, you can play it safe and skip the iced lattes and smoothies while you’re on Bali.

Don’t forget ocean safety checks.

Bali’s a surfer’s paradise for beginners and seasoned professionals alike, drawing visitors to spots like Canggu, Nusa Lembongan and Keramas, to name a few. However, the waves can be sizable and challenging, so it’s advisable to look for flags indicating designated swimming areas and their conditions. Consult local lifeguards to ensure safety and avoid swimming near surfers, as there's a risk of accidental collisions.

Additionally, you should ask whether the area has any coral reefs you need to be cautious of when you’re swimming, diving or surfing.

A huge part of the charm of Bali is experiencing its rich Hindu culture. And while Hinduism is more tolerant of gays than Islam, don’t do anything that could get you into trouble (i.e., be low-key).

Don’t neglect local laws regarding LGBTQ+ issues.

While Indonesia boasts the world’s largest Muslim population, Bali stands out as an island where the majority of its inhabitants practice Hinduism. One of the religious concepts practiced here is based on atma, promoting a live-and-let-live philosophy. This inclusive atmosphere is one of the many factors that make it a popular destination among the lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans and queer (LGBTQ+) community. However, it’s crucial to note that cultural boundaries still exist, and public displays of affection for both gay and straight couples are frowned upon.

Despite Bali being more tolerant, the country of Indonesia doesn’t officially recognize same-sex relationships. They have enacted laws making consensual sex outside of marriage illegal, which applies to citizens and foreigners, gay and straight alike. 

While queer tourists are welcome, you can’t freely practice the same openness with your identity that you might back home. In fact, USA Today reported that in January 2020, an American lesbian couple was deported after promoting the island of Bali as “queer-friendly.” Do yourself a favor: Avoid discussing LGBTQ topics. As with anywhere you go, respect local customs and err on the side of caution.

But if you follow these do’s and don’ts, you’re bound to discover the beauty that Bali offers. –Abigail Cameron

How to Get Around Oaxaca

Navigating colectivos, taxis, buses and mototaxis — and why you can’t get an Uber in Oaxaca, Mexico.

You’ll have plenty of options to get around Oaxaca — many of which are ridiculously affordable.

If you’re staying in Centro in Oaxaca (and you most likely are), most sites you want to see will be a five-to-15-minute walk away — aside from the day trips to artisan villages, mezcalerías, the archeological sites of Monte Albán and Mitla, and the natural splendor of Hierve el Agua. 

Be warned, though. We relied too heavily on Google Maps as we set out to a destination, and after 10 minutes realized we were literally walking in circles. There’s definitely something funky with GPS in Oaxaca — it doesn’t update or pinpoint locations well enough to rely upon it. 

“There’s definitely something funky with GPS in Oaxaca — it doesn’t update or pinpoint locations well enough to rely upon it. ”

Bring comfortable shoes — you might be walking in circles in Oaxaca’s Centro.

I found the best thing to do is plot out your path before heading out. You can usually get from one spot to another in Centro by traveling down a maximum of three or four streets. 

Even then, smooth navigation is by no means guaranteed. A large part of why it’s so hard to get your bearings in Oaxaca is because the buildings are all built right up to the sidewalk and form a veritable corridor. Walking along them gives you no line of sight to landmarks to orient yourself. I’m sure this was done to keep the streets as cool as possible during the blazing heat — but it does make visitors feel a bit like they’re in a maze. 

The other confusing aspect is that streets will change names after a few blocks. We were looking for Porfirio Díaz, but went well beyond it because we didn’t know that 20 de Noviembre became Porfirio Díaz just one block up. Similarly, 5 de Mayo suddenly turns into Armenta y López. This will happen all the time, so make sure you have the right name for the area you want to go to.

Arriving in Oaxaca

Duke typically likes to arrange transport from the airport through our hotel. You’ll pay more, but it’s reassuring knowing that you have someone waiting there when you arrive, ready to ensure you make it safely to your lodgings. 

In Oaxaca, though, this isn’t necessary. Once you collect your baggage, head into the next room and find the transport kiosk. There’s a set fee for the trip into Centro, and it’s very affordable — ours came to about $10. Try to get to the kiosk as soon as possible, as you’ll be sharing the ride in a colectivo van, and this way you can score the best seats.

Cabs are plentiful and cheap in Oaxaca. Especially if you’re out late, play it safe and hop in a taxi to get home.

Driving Around Oaxaca 

When it came to vehicular transport for day trips and around town, I asked our friend, Kevin, who lives in Oaxaca, how we should get around. The following sections are his response:

The old-fashioned way. A cab! That is correct. Uber was not allowed here, thanks to the powerful local unions. (Though we do have food delivery from Rappi.)

Many tourists will hire a cab for the entire day since getting cabs out of artisan villages and sites like Monte Albán can be rough. 

TIP: When the time comes, you will want to join the Expats Oaxaca Facebook group and you can ask for recommendations to hire a driver for the day.  It’s very inexpensive compared to the U.S. You’ll be flooded with responses.  

A colectivo pulls up in front of our Airbnb.

What’s a Colectivo?

Another way that’s very cheap, and the method I use, are called colectivos. You’re sharing a janky-ass cab with as many people that can fit in it. Two people in the one front seat is common. Three in the back. I’ve had four in the back before, but that’s not common.  

I take them to far-off pueblos (villages) and it costs 20 pesos on average — basically $1 U.S.  

You can’t pick up a colectivo at your hotel or in Centro. You need to walk to el Mercado de Abastos (the Food Market), where they congregate. There are sections to grab these for each pueblo.

The market to get it is a 15-minute walk from Centro. But being White and walking through the market and navigating that will be tricky, as you will not want your phone out and in your hand while Google helps you navigate it. Otherwise it’s very safe. I love that market — best in Oaxaca and less touristy because they want upscale experiences in Mexico and not local slices of real life here.

Getting colectivos was definitely easier for me because I had my boyfriend navigate that shit so many times I can now do it myself. If you speak Spanish, you’ll be fine.

Returning is very simple, as they are constantly running all day to and from Oaxaca. 

We didn’t take any, but buses are an option for getting around.

Buses?

Another option are the buses. But again, don’t expect a bus like it is in the U.S. It’s really janky, loud and quite an Old World experience. I have used them often to travel to pueblos as well.

And Renting a Car?

With insurance, expect to pay about $65-$90 U.S. for a day.

Cute little mototaxis are popular ways to get around the villages outside of the city of Oaxaca.

What About in the Villages?

You will take a tuk-tuk (called mototaxis here). It’s a fantastic way to maneuver through pueblos, reach another pueblo nearby or get a ride out of a pueblo to the main road where you can grab your colectivo, etc. Super cheap.

Usually a colectivo will take you to one spot within the pueblo, and then you walk or take a tuk-tuk if you want. Normally, locals take tuk-tuks because they want to get out of the center of the pueblo to their homes. So where a colectivo drops you is typically the area you want to be in anyway. 

The mototaxis in this part of Mexico reminded us of the tuk-tuks we rode in Southeast Asia.

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When Duke and I cabbed around town, we tended to pay about 50-80 pesos. 

Don’t be surprised if the taxi doesn’t have seatbelts — we found that to be the norm. (In fact, the drivers have them but they dangle there, unused for some reason.)

You’ll find Oaxaca to be a very walkable city. And when you take those days trips — and you really must, as the artisan villages are what make this area so appealing — you have a variety of options. –Wally

Road Trip! Marrakech to the Sahara

The death-defying hairpin turns in the Atlas Mountains are worth it. With stopovers at Aït Benhaddou and Ouarzazate, a big part of the fun is the journey to Erg Chigaga for an overnight in the Sahara Desert. 

A stray dog looks off at the Atlas range, surely thinking deep thoughts…like how no trip to Morocco is complete without a sojourn in the Sahara.

There was one thing we knew we couldn’t miss out on while Wally and I planned our itinerary for Morocco with our friend Vanessa: a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for a desert adventure. We decided upon a three-day and two-night Sahara excursion through Imzi Tours.

The familiar sound of the muezzin’s voice broadcast over the speakers of the nearby Koutoubia Mosque in Marrakech woke me from my slumber at 5 a.m. When the alarm rang an hour later, I thought I’d half-imagined the call to prayer, asking Wally and Vanessa if they had heard it, too. 

“Nothing can quite prepare you for being a passenger in a car maneuvering the tight cliffside turns with low guardrails found throughout the Atlas range. ”

By the time we got dressed, it was only 6:30 in the morning, so the kitchen at our riad, Alwachma, hadn’t opened — which meant we were served an abundance of carb-laden fare that left the three of us longing for the cumin-dusted fried eggs we had enjoyed the day before. Our breakfast spread consisted of msemen, a traditional flatbread cooked in a frying pan. It reminded me of a chewy square-shaped pancake, but was described best by Wally as “crêpe jerky.” This was accompanied by another unleavened bread, matloua, the Moroccan version of an arepa, which was served with preserves, freshly squeezed orange juice and French press coffee. 

We had to get an early start for our desert excursion because Marrakech is roughly 225 miles from Zagora and the dunes of Erg Chigaga, though we had an overnight at Ouarzazate. At 8 a.m., the three of us met our guide and driver at the end of Derb Bab Doukkala, the cobblestone alley outside our riad.

His name was Mubarak, but he went by Barak. After asking our names, he promptly gave us Berber names: Vanessa was Fatima, Wally was Mustafa, and I was Ali. Vanessa whispered a theory that I was inclined to believe. She said Barak gave us Berber names so he didn’t have to remember our real ones. But what the heck, it’s all in fun, right? 

Moustafa, Ali and Fatima…err, Wally, Duke and Vanessa stretch their legs and admire the view on a road trip through the Atlas Mountains in Morocco.

It’s a long ride to M’hamid, the launching point for the camel ride to the desert camp, but Barak assured us that there’d be plenty of stops along the way. Our first day would take us to an argan oil cooperative, Aït Benhaddou and Ouarzazate, where we would be spending the night. 

Our driver Barak, posing with our friend, Vanessa. He was a fiercely proud Berber and expounded about his people at length.

The Free People: A Lesson About Berbers

As we sped along National Route 9, Barak explained that there are several different types of Berber tribes, the semi-nomadic people who inhabit the Sahara. Two of the largest populations are found in Algeria and Morocco. Their livelihood revolves around traveling with their livestock as the seasons change.

The name Berber was ascribed to the oldest known inhabitants of the Barbary Coast of North Africa. The term stemmed from the Greek bárbaros, used to refer to any foreigner, and which is the root of the derogatory term barbarian. It’s understandable that Berbers prefer to call themselves Imazighen, which means “Free People” in the indigenous Tamazight language.

Berber on a motorbike: A man whizzes by in traditional Berber garb.

The southern Atlas and Anti-Atlas Mountains are home to the Shilha, the largest Berber tribe in the country and often viewed as having the “purest” dialect: Tashlheit, the most commonly spoken in Morocco.

Riffan or Rif Berbers speak a dialect called Tarafit. The smallest Berber population in the country, this group stays within the bounds of the Rif Mountains.

In the Middle Atlas are the Zayanes, who spread from Fès in the north to Marrakech in the south. Their dialect, Tamazight, varies wildly from region to region but is usually intelligible by native speakers. Some Zayanes, particularly those near Ouarzazate in the south, are still nomads. 

It’s astonishing how much work goes into extracting oil from the argan nut.

Argan Oil Women’s Collective: A Tough Nut to Crack 

As we entered the High Atlas Mountains, the undulating surface of the surrounding landscape resembled gray-green fleshy folds of walrus skin peppered with errant bursts of green scrub. In other parts, it was like driving through the Grand Canyon. A frequent roadside sight are the paddle-shaped limbs of the nopal cactus bearing prickly pear fruit in varying states of ripeness.

Argan trees are indigenous to the Atlas Mountains. They are thorny, drought-resistant trees that bear a hard yellow fruit. 

Argan trees are quite tenacious and can grow on rocky outcroppings. The oil from their fruit is used in cosmetics and cooking.

Our first stop was a roadside argan oil cooperative shop whose parking lot was littered with desiccated argan fruit husks. Inside, Berber women demonstrated the manual labor required to make this “Moroccan gold.”

Collectives like the one we visited help provide women with lucrative employment.

One pair was seated and cleaved the inner nut with a sharp stone to extract the kernels. Another pair ground the roasted kernels between two slabs of rock into a paste that resembled natural peanut butter. A woman who served as a guide told us that two types of oil are produced — one is used in cosmetics while the other is used like olive oil in cooking. 

Because the extraction process is labor intensive (it takes between 25 to 30 kilograms of argan kernels to produce 1 liter of oil), the government has established a fund to help ensure the success of cooperatives like this. UNESCO has designated the 10,000-square-mile argan growing region as a biosphere reserve. This empowers the women who produce the oil, providing them with fair wages, an opportunity to improve the welfare of their families and safe working conditions.

The trio of adventurers reach the highest point in the Atlas range — and, indeed, in all of North Africa.

Tizi n’Tichka: High Point of the Atlas Mountains

Whenever we stopped to take a photograph anywhere along Route 9, a local man or boy emerged from the rocks brandishing geodes split open for us to see the glittering crystalline structures inside, some artificially dyed a vibrant pink or blue. 

We passed dozens of beaten earth houses, many of which appeared to be uninhabited, although we learned from Barak that this wasn’t always the case.

The houses in the mountains are made of local materials and, as a result, are practically camouflaged.

Laundry is put out to dry in the sun on the rocks of the Atlas Mountains.

Before making our descent into Ouarzazate, known as the Gateway to the Sahara, we reached the highest point of the Atlas Mountains. At an elevation of 7,410 feet (2.260 meters) above sea level, Tizi n’Tichka is the highest mountain pass in North Africa. We stopped for a moment to take in the incredible views and an obligatory photo, of course. 

We were sure we’d never make it through the mountains alive, as Barak sped past large trucks winding through the switchbacks of the Atlas.

Nothing can quite prepare you for being a passenger in a car with a driver maneuvering the tight cliffside turns with low guardrails found throughout the Atlas range. Since this route is shared by trucks and other large passenger vehicles, the three of us would lean to the opposite side every time Barak passed a vehicle on the narrow lanes, in hopes that this would help prevent our car from toppling over the edge. 

You definitely have to stop off at Aït Benhaddou en route to the Sahara.

Hollywood in the Desert: Aït Benhaddou and Atlas Studios

One of the coolest stops en route to the Sahara was the fortified village of Aït Benhaddou. Barak told us that the oldest dwelling in what he called a kasbah was built in the 11th century, though UNESCO dates the oldest construction “to be no earlier than the 17th century.”

Wally thinks the ancient structures of Aït Benhaddou look like sandcastles.

Regardless, the atmospheric desert dwellings have been so well preserved that it has captured the imagination of Hollywood. Several productions have been shot here including, The Sheltering Sky and The Mummy. In fact, a large artificial entrance had been constructed for the Daenerys storyline in Game of Thrones — but unfortunately, they weren’t going to start filming for another month or so, much to Wally’s dismay.

Many movies set in Ancient Egypt have been filmed at Atlas Studios in Ouarzazate.

Speaking of Hollywood, the next stop was Atlas Studios in the town of Ouarzazate, where numerous desert-themed movies have been filmed. For some reason, our guide was enthralled with Steven Segal. The group we toured with was predominantly French, with a small group of English-speaking Brazilians. 

Most of the sets were made of fiberglass with back supports of bamboo scaffolding. I was intrigued by the false perspective and scale used in the spaces to trick the eye. 

Hopefully Les Jardins de Ouarzazate has been upgraded a bit since our visit.

Les Jardins de Ouarzazate Hotel: I Never Promised You a Rose Garden

Atlas Studios also boasts an exclusive 10-suite hotel aptly named the Oscar. Perhaps we should have stayed there instead of Les Jardins de Ouarzazate, which was included in our tour package.

At the time we visited, back in 2012, the hotel had clearly seen better days. A layer of dust and grime covered everything inside the expansive lobby and I half-expected to see Miss Havisham from Dickens’ Great Expectations descend the tiled stairs.

Our room, at the top of the stairs, had a foul smell, so we were upgraded to a private suite off to the side of an unkempt but beautifully wild rose garden and swimming pool. Both rooms were dark, and when we went to take showers the following morning, the water was cold.

An old man kept pacing around the pool. Vanessa thought he was lost; I thought he was a Peeping Tom; but Wally fabricated the most amusing story: The geezer was wandering around looking for Arab boys. “Is this where the Arab boys are?” Wally said, mimicking an old man’s voice, while I laughed. “I thought I saw one come back here.”

The highlight of our stay was our waiter. He was quite jovial, so we nicknamed him Giggles. He asked us if we were doctors because we were all wearing glasses. 

There was a little kitten that stayed next to me throughout dinner. It took all of my willpower not to toss it a scrap of food.

Breakfast was a buffet of fly-smothered, day-old croissants loosely covered with cloth napkins.

Mediocre hotel aside, the interesting stopovers make the journey to the Sahara as much fun as the overnight in the desert itself. –Duke

17 Surprising Things About Brazil

From the bizarre beach culture of Rio to the urban sprawl of Sao Paulo, here’s a list of things that will shock you about Brazil travel.

The girl (and boys) from Ipanema Beach in Rio

“What drew you to Brazil?” I asked first off. I’m always interested in knowing what draws people to destinations. The exoticism of Southeast Asia and Morocco appeal to Duke and me, but we have yet to visit South America together.

“Cheap airfare,” my friend Ben replied without a moment’s hesitation. He and his boyfriend Derrick subscribe to Scott’s Cheap Flights, a mailing list that informs you of airline deals. It’s well worth paying $30 a year for the premium version.

(I signed us up, and we’ve already received a few emails that have inspired us try to figure out a creative way to use a long weekend.)

Derrick and Ben share their experience of traveling to Brazil

“Brazil is a study in extreme contrasts. You have poverty and wealth, beauty and squalor, all of these opposing forces, in a very small space.”

Ben pointed out that within 24 hours of booking, airlines are required by law to refund your money, unless it’s within seven days of the flight. So you call jump on a good price — and back out the next day if you’d like.

“We booked three trips almost immediately: Japan, Brazil and Spain,” he said, “And it all cost less than our trip to Australia the year before.” The trip to Brazil ran them only about $400.

The botanical gardens in Rio felt like you’re on the grounds of an abandoned plantation

Neither of them had been to South America before, and “another upside was that it was their summer and our winter,” Derrick said.

The fellas stayed about five days in Rio and two and a half in São Paulo.

The Selaron Steps in Rio de Janeiro, where Michael Jackson danced in a music video

They chose a different neighborhood each day, deciding upon a site or two to see — like the steps where Michael Jackson danced in the controversial “They Don’t Care About Us” music video, directed by Spike Lee, for instance — and then wandered around.

Here are their observations about Brazil, a country they found to be more complicated than they ever imagined.

1. Rio has a huge beach culture — but hardly anyone lays out or goes swimming.

People flock to the beaches in Rio, where they engage in athletic activities: volleyball, soccer or paddleball.

“But almost nobody goes in the water,” Derrick said. “It’s not the thing to do.”

“People aren’t laying down,” Ben added. “They’re all standing, and maybe sitting a little bit.”

The beaches are very large, but after you walk about five minutes, you’ve got the gist, because it repeats itself, Derrick said.

There’s a pretty black and white tiled path that runs the entire length of the seaside. And all along it, you have different restaurants and vendors, where you can get, say, a 5-pound coconut.

The waterfront is divided into different sectors, called postos. Each is known for different things, Ben says: One might be where the models hang out, one’s where the gay guys are, and another’s for families.

Cachaça vendors can whip you up a caipirinha to go for a few bucks

2. It’s super cheap to drink in Rio.

By the sidewalk are the officially sanctioned snack kiosks, but as you go 100 yards or so onto the sand, you get unofficial tents setups, or guys with insulated backpacks peddling fried cheese, beer and drugs. A lot of people had caipirinha-making kits, and you could buy a drink from them for $3.

A bottle of cachaça, a distilled spirit made from fermented sugarcane juice that’s the national drink of Brazil, could be bought at a store for $2.

Christ the Redeemer towers above Rio. Sometimes he looks like he’s in Heaven

3. Christ the Redeemer could be lost in the clouds.

When Ben and Derrick went, the 125-foot-tall statue of Jesus that overlooks Rio atop Mount Corcovado was shrouded in fog the entire time they were there. Be sure you take advantage of a clear day and see the sites that are on the 1,000-foot-high rocky outcroppings above the city.

The 125-foot-tall statue stands atop the massive granite dome of Corcovado hill and, since its erection in 1931 has become one of the most famous landmarks in the world.

You take an incline railway up Corcovado. “As we were going up, we were like, still nice, still nice — and then, bam! Fog,” Ben says.

It killed them a bit that they couldn’t get the iconic money shot — but to make themselves feel better, they joked that it was like “seeing Jesus in Heaven.”

The Parque Lage and School of Visual Arts is a gorgeous locale in Rio

4. Brazilians are beautiful — and parade around in next to nothing.

They’ll go from the beach to a food stall, wearing a speedo, shoulder shawl and flip-flops. They all wear Havaianas, the super-trendy, colorful plastic flip-flops created by a Scotsman in 1962.

5. But the people aren’t all that friendly.

For a city with a reputation as a party city, Ben and Derrick didn’t find the locals to be that outgoing.

“I’d always been under the impression that Brazilians were super nice, super willing to engage in conversation, that if they recognize an outsider, they’ll talk to them, but that wasn’t the case,” Ben says.

The fellas felt pretty safe wandering around Santa Teresa during the day — but you should always be on your guard with valuables in Rio

6. The crime is, unfortunately, as bad as advertised.

When they got to their hotel, they were given cards with the hotel’s contact info and were told to leave their wallet and everything else locked in the room’s safe when they left the premises. “Carry this card and a copy of your passport, and that’s it,” Derrick advised.

They took what money they felt they needed and kept it in their front pockets. “Don’t take out more than you can afford to lose,” Ben said.

“It was a bummer,” he continued, “because I love taking pictures, and my go-to mode is walking around with my camera. Everything I read said, take a photo and then put your camera away immediately in a nondescript bag.

“One afternoon we went out, and within five minutes of leaving the hotel, this guy tapped me on the shoulder and told me, ‘You need to put that away. Don’t have it out,’” Ben said.

He did feel fine using a cellphone as a camera, though. Just don’t draw too much attention to yourself, he added. Expert tip: Use your work phones — just in case they do get stolen, heh heh.

A lot of banks don’t even let you access their interior ATMs after 8 p.m. because of the fear that people will force you to withdraw money, Ben said.

Derrick moved the money he planned to spend on the trip from his checking account into a savings account.

“There’s definitely a feeling of crime,” Derrick says. Someone told them not to have bags facing the streets because bikers could ride by and swipe them.

Kids beg for money, and it’s the second-highest country in terms of child prostitution, next to Thailand, Ben informed me. (He does his research.)

Both of their Kindles got stolen out of their hotel room — the one thing they didn’t put in the safe.

7. Brazil is an extremely sexual country.

Prostitutes are everywhere, especially in São Paulo. “You get propositioned all the time,” Derrick says.

There are bathhouses for days, along with love hotels, similar to those found in Japan.

Take a sky tram up to the top of Sugarloaf Mountain. Helicopter tours are available from here, from which you can see gorgeous views of the entire city

8. Rio didn’t get rid of its favelas (the slums built into the hillsides) for the Olympics.

Instead, they’ve had the police go in and take control, Ben said. “It’s like going into a war zone,” he added: police in body armor, SWAT vehicles, guns. They’re trying to drive out the drug dealers and crime lords.

Thousands upon thousands of people live in these communities, and they don’t have running water all the time or reliable electricity.

“They’re very vibrant communities, but are riddled with crime and corruption,” Ben said. The pieced-together shacks are, ironically, very brightly colored and pretty.

“Brazil is a study in extreme contrasts,” Ben said. “You can see the favela as you pass the Maserati dealership. You have poverty and wealth, beauty and squalor, all of these opposing forces, in a very small space.”

Ben and Derrick recommend using a wireless hotspot and rideshare apps to visit spots like Parque Lage and School of Visual Arts

9. Rideshare companies like Lyft are a convenient way to get around.

Ben and Derrick have found rideshare apps to be a better option in many parts of the world than taxis — some of which can be corrupt. This way, you’re going through an app, your route is mapped out, and no money exchanges hands.

“Brazil is a country where you definitely don’t want to rent a car,” Ben advised. “They have one of the highest rates of traffic fatalities.” (I told you he does his research.)

“Stop signs are suggestions,” Derrick added. “And so are stoplights.”

“There’s a lot of honking and screaming,” Ben said.

The Lapa neighborhood is known for its aqueduct — and boho vibe

10. There are some neighborhoods in Rio you can explore during the day — that turn into wild parties at night.

One day, the boys wandered through Lapa — a neighborhood in central Rio that’s easily identifiable by the aqueduct. Then they took the historic tram up the hill to Santa Teresa, a charming artists’ community. There’s an old mansion that burned down that’s now an art event space.  

Santa Teresa, an arts district in Rio

They also checked out Lapa at night, and saw about 300 people hanging out in the Shell gas station parking lot. This is known as the bohemian and samba district. “People are dancing right in the streets. It’s mayhem,” Ben said.

Lapa is directly downhill from a favela, and there’s a lot of pickpocketing on weekends.

A local girl told them that she survived Carnaval without getting anything stolen cuz she had a fanny pack that she wore under her clothes.

“While I’m sure that tourists are more targeted, it also happens to Brazilians,” Ben said.

Marmosets crawl along power lines all over the city

11. You’ll see monkeys running around everywhere in Rio.

They’re marmosets and they’re cute and like to scamper over power lines. From Ben and Derrick’s experience, they’re didn’t seem dangerous.

Aside from good restaurants and a cool museum, São Paulo doesn’t have a whole lot to offer

12. There’s not a lot to do in São Paulo.

Despite being the most populous and geographically largest city in all of South America, São Paulo doesn’t offer much for the tourist, according to Ben and Derrick.

“Unless you want to eat really good food and drink really well, there’s not a lot to do during the day,” Ben explained.

Of course, they did find a couple of cool museums to explore: MASP (Museu de Arte de São Paulo Assis Chateaubriand) and Pinacoteca do Estado de São Paulo.

Altarpiece No. 1-3 by Hilma af Klint at the Pinacoteca do Estado de São Paulo

13. São Paulo is like the gritty parts of New York — but without the visual appeal.

It’s one rundown, dirty storefront after another, Ben said. Mile after mile of urban sprawl.

They would be walking around and feel safe, and then turn onto a street that felt super sketchy. It was block-by-block.

14. There’s a shoe shine scam to watch out for.

In a scam that’s even used here in Chicago, a man will approach you, squat down and smear something all over your shoes. “It looked like a brown sugar mixture,” Ben said.

Then the man will make a big deal about the mess will start to clean it up — wanting, of course, to be paid about $30 for his trouble.

When this happened to the fellas and they declined, the man stood there, cursing them out.

What’s for dinner? Lots of meat — but hopefully not a capybara

15. The cuisine consists of lots of meat and lots of beans.

Beef, cow, goat and seafood are omnipresent. Vegetables? Not so much.

You might want to try a dish Brazil is famous for: feijoada, a stew loaded with different types of slowly braised meat that takes five days to make.

The urban sprawl of São Paulo

16. Distances can be deceptive in São Paulo.

You can look at a map and think, That’s not too far away — and it’ll end up being an hour Lyft ride, Derrick explained.

Ben’s friend told him that it takes about three hours to drive from one end of the city to the other.

The Luz Railway Station in São Paulo

17. Overall, Brazil is a difficult country to navigate.

Ben and Derrick have traveled all over the world — and they found Brazil to be one of the more confusing countries. “If you don’t know somebody, if you’re not part of a tour group, if you don’t travel a lot, or if you’re not street smart, it definitely requires a higher level of awareness,” according to Ben.

“In a lot of ways, our trip to Brazil was unremarkable. Brazil is really about being in the moment, taking advantage of what’s there,” Ben said.

“Yah, if you’re a person who likes to go go go, or go out at a reasonable hour, Brazil’s not the place for you,” Derrick concluded. –Wally

9 Tuk Tuk Tips

What is a tuk-tuk taxi? And what do you need to know about this mode of Thai transportation so you don’t get taken for a ride?

The only good part of getting scammed is that we got some funny pics of Wally driving a tuk-tuk — much to Duke’s dismay

Most of the time during your stay in Chiang Mai, you’ll be traveling around in the cute contraptions with the adorable name: tuk-tuks. These three-wheeled vehicles are like teeny-tiny open-air motorbike chariots. The ones in Chiang Mai really only fit two passengers comfortably, though three could probably squeeze in.

If you’re in the Old City, or anywhere nearby, you should be able to flag one down and go anywhere you want for an affordable price. Here are nine tips to follow when hiring a tuk-tuk:

“He stopped outside the gate and kicked us to the curb. So much for good karma.

”

I Get Around. 🇹🇭 Tuk-tuks are an affordable mode of transportation after a long day of exploring Chiang Mai's Old City. So called for the sound made by their engines, they can shuttle you around with ease due to their small scale and maneuverability. Just make sure you set the price before getting in! #tuktuk #thaphaegate #chiangmai #amazingthailand #thailand #rtw #travelblogger #exploremore #wanderlust #traveltheworld #savoteur

A post shared by Wally & Duke (@notsoinnocents) on May 12, 2017 at 5:19pm PDT

1. Negotiate your price before getting in the tuk-tuk.

You’re exhausted from walking all day. It can be tempting to hop into the tuk-tuk and then talk prices. Resist.

In Chiang Mai, you should be able to go short distances for 100 baht. Let the driver quote a price first. If it's less than 100, score! If it's not, and you’re traveling within or just outside the Old City, try insisting upon 100‎฿.

Walk away if they won't come down in price. They'll cave — most of the time. (We didn’t have much luck playing hardball during a crowded event, like the Saturday Walking Market, for instance.) But if they don't accept your price, you should be able to find another tuk-tuk right away.

2. Know exactly where you’re going.

You don’t have to know the route — just the address of your destination. Most addresses in Chiang Mai will be four or five lines long and seem to include streets, districts, subdistricts and even the nearest gate in the ancient walled city.

Have your destination address ready to go on your phone to show the driver.

3. BYOM: Bring your own map.

Some drivers have their own maps, but play it safe and bring your own. It's easier to point on a map than to show English addresses. So just whip out your copy of Nancy Chandler’s map of Chiang Mai (it seems as if everyone’s got one). Before you head somewhere, try to find where you are currently and where you’d like to go.

A couple of fellow travelers told us about a great resource: the app Maps.me, where you can download a comprehensive map of the city that you can access offline.

Drivers like to orient themselves by gates. Look at the closest one to your destination and point to it on the map.

4. They treat two lanes like three.

This can be a bit nerve-racking if you focus on it too much. Granted, tuk-tuks are pretty small and two of them can almost fit abreast in a lane of traffic. But they weave in and out of traffic — some of it oncoming — so the best thing to do is just put your trust in your driver and try to enjoy the ride. And hang on tight.

5. They lay off the horn.

It's the polar opposite of India, where drivers never stop honking. Perhaps it's their quiet Buddhist nature. But I sure ain’t complaining.

6. Watch for the fake-out tuk-tuks.

When you really just want to find some nice open-air transport back to your hotel, standing on the side of the road in the blazing heat, you’ll inevitably get your hopes dashed by vehicles that look a lot like tuk-tuks but aren’t. They have a motorbike with a sidecar sort of thing, usually used to carry food.

7. When desperate, flag down a red taxi (song thaew).

If you go to a more remote locale (like the mostly abandoned JJ home décor market Duke wanted to try out), you might not find a tuk-tuk. In these instances, you’ll have to flag down a song thaew (literally “two rows), so named for the seating in the back of these modified trucks. They’re covered and can get quite hot inside.

You'll have to share these with other riders most of the time, and they make various stops as they go along. It’s best to know what your destination looks like, since it’s not as easy to converse with the driver as it is in a tuk-tuk.

The good thing is that these are quite cheap. It says all rides are 30฿ on the side of the vehicle — but we always paid a bit more and didn’t argue.  

8. If you want to go farther afield, hire a driver for the day or half-day.

We had a fantastic experience with Tommy (you can email him at t.tommy2556@gmail.com). His price was competitive — in fact, I think the drivers must all decide on a price, and everyone sticks to it. Tommy speaks fluent English and has a penchant for love songs from the ’70s. We enjoyed his company so much, we hired him three of the days we spent in Chiang Mai.

9. Avoid this tuk-tuk scam.

Yes, Duke and I still manage to get swindled now and then.

On our first day in Chiang Mai, we saw a tuk-tuk driver at the first temple we visited, then again later in the day. He offered to take us on a tour of the Old City as well as a handicraft market for 150‎฿. He told us his name is Chi, the first three letters of our hometown Chicago, so I felt it must be kismet. You pronounce his name “Shy,” though he's anything but.

Our “tour” turned out to be a total crock. Chi took us to tourist trap shops outside the Old City, where everything is overpriced and the desperate salespeople cling to you. We cruised through them, though, in solidarity to Chi, after he explained that he gets a stamp from each place (and one imagines some sort of commission).

After five of those shops, Chi said he'll take us to the Old City. Instead, he stopped outside Tha Phae Gate and essentially kicked us to the curb, waving across the street and dismissing us. So much for good karma.

If you see Chi (heck, he might even have a picture of me and Duke to help lure you in), don’t fall for his scam. –Wally

Getting From Malaga to Morocco Is a Total Pain in the Ass

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One of the gates that leads into the medina in Fès, Morocco — not a place you want to be, clueless, in the middle of the night

Should you leave from Algeciras or Tarifa, Spain to catch the ferry to Tangiers? Our hellish day can teach you 24 valuable lessons.

Part of me was excited by the romance of taking a ferry from Europe to Africa, crossing the Strait of Gibraltar.

And part of me knew getting from Málaga to Fès in one day was, perhaps, overly ambitious. I worried that things wouldn’t quite work out for us.

“My exhausted brain kept thinking, “Well, this is it. We’re gonna get knifed in some dark alley.””

Well, that’s an understatement.

We can only hope that our extremely hellacious day can provide some valuable advice to those of you undergoing similar jaunts.

And when travel plans get particularly harried, I like to remember that we’ve got it pretty darn good in the modern age. Imagine how long it would have taken Mark Twain to undergo the same journey.

Here’s what we learned (the hard way):

1. It’s difficult to find anything online.

In this day and age, you kind of figure that everything’s on the internet, right? But local bus schedules, train timetables — it’s all difficult to find. While surfing around at our friends’ place in Málaga, the only information we could unearth came from other travelers as confused as we were — and even that was hopelessly outdated.

2. There isn’t a magical yellow bus.

One of the guys at the hostel across the street told us there was an Amarillo bus. We didn’t know if that was the company’s name or if it was literally a yellow bus. Or both.

He sounded so certain. It was an express bus, or directo, he told us, and it runs from Málaga to Tarifa nonstop. He even knew what time it leaves: 7:30 a.m.

Of course we couldn’t find anything online.

But I wanted to believe him. After all, he must have plenty of travelers who want to go to Morocco.

It almost sounded too good to be true.

Turns out it was.

We caught a crack-of-dawn taxi to the bus station, where we found the window for the Amarillo bus line (not just the color but the company name as well). The sign, though, informed us they wouldn’t have anyone working there till later. And the schedule showed nothing about a directo. Which was OK since we had already bought our tickets at the Portillo window, the only one open that early.

3. The buses themselves are quite nice and seemed to run on time.

Note: There aren’t any bathrooms on the buses, and there might be an unforeseen layover. When we got to Algeciras, we were told we had to get off the bus for half an hour and then reboard for the final leg of the trip to Tarifa.

4. The ferry from Tarifa is better.

It lets you out in the Tangier city center, whereas the one from Algeciras, an industrial port, drops you off farther away.

5. …Unless the entire port is closed for high winds.

It was so windy that it was a bit of a struggle at times even walking the 10 minutes to the port terminal.

The man at the bus station kept saying “cerrada” and mimicking two doors closing. But we decided our best bet was to get to the port and see exactly what the deal was.

6. If you get stuck in Tarifa, our friends recommend you stay at Hostal Africa.

I’m hoping hostal in this case doesn’t mean sharing a room and bathroom with 10 or so other people.

Jo and Jose say Tarifa is a cute little surfer town, and the winds mean good kite surfing — you’ll see signs touting this pastime all over.

You enter the old part of town through an arch, and it did seem laid-back, with white buildings and winding streets.

We passed Hostal Africa, and it’s very close to the tourism office, which is at one end of the paseo, where you can find some cafés and old folks chatting on benches.

A nice fellow helped guide us through the twisting lanes to the port.

That’s where a maritime policeman informed us the port was closed for the entire day.

7. You might have to backtrack to Algeciras.

That’s what we had to do. It’s frustrating — you wish someone could have told you the port was closed for the day.

At any rate, we hopped into a cab outside the ferry station, and after a 35€ ride, we were back in Algeciras, the previous stop on our bus ride.

8. The ferry ticket seller might fib.

There are lines of ticket windows touting ferry service. Look for the next time to Tangier. The man behind the glass at the window we approached said the ferry left at 14:00 (2 p.m.), but the printout he gave us read, 14:30.

9. Have a beer while you wait.

I know for me, it helped take the edge off a stressful day. I thought today would be an adventure like on The Amazing Race. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that’s not really a good thing. You’ve got to be creative and courageous and run around like crazy — only we didn’t have the chance of winning $1 million.

10. Don’t get sucked into bad Spanish dating shows.

The TV in the cafeteria was blasting a terrible low-rent Bachelor/Bachelorette-type show called Mujeres y Hombres y Viceversa.

It was like watching a train wreck, as we say in the States (though that’s probably an expression I should avoid while traveling).

Eventually we ripped ourselves away half an hour before we were supposed to board.

11. You’ll still need to get a boarding pass.

We tried to board with the paper printout the ticket seller gave us, but no go. We were told we had to go back downstairs (past the door reading, “Point of No Return,” past Customs, past the security X-ray machine).

One of the workers was telling the woman in ticket booth to hurry up, which made me wonder if the gates were closing. Which certainly didn’t help my stress level.

I needn’t have worried.

12. The departure time on your ticket might actually be the boarding time.

Not a huge deal, but it would play a factor if there’s a particular train connection in Tangier you’re hoping to make.

13. Once aboard the ferry, get right in line to get your passport stamped.

It took us over 20 minutes to get through the line. The boat hadn’t left by then.

14. We suspect that the times the ticket sellers tout are really just staggered boarding times for the same ferry.

It was 16:00 and we still hadn’t left. Duke and I had already had a café au lait and briefly had to put up with an annoying couple in obnoxious matching blue jumpsuits that read, “I Feel the Need…the Need for Sleep” on the backs blasting some pop song on their cell phone. 

15. Pack snacks.

There are places you can buy sandwiches, potato chips and the like. But, boy, were we glad to have ham and cheese croissants, fresh figs and empanadas with us.

By the time we thought we might want “une sandwish” (that’s not proper French, by the way) on the ferry, they were completely sold out.

16. They’ll let you out in the hold with all the big trucks.

No one really directed us, and we thought for sure we had done something wrong. A group of us strangers were walking back and forth, aimlessly, until a crewmember nodded and pointed us in the direction we had come.

We went back to stand between two large idling semis.

17. Other cultures think nothing of cutting in line.

That includes a Dutch family and Moroccans alike. People just oozed around us and ended up standing in front of us, acting as if it was the most normal thing in the world. And maybe it is.

I don’t think of Americans as the masters of politesse — but we do hold waiting in line without cutting to be a sacred duty.

18. Then it’s a stampede off the ferry and onto a shuttle bus.

The door-cum-ramp creaked open, accompanied by a horrific high-pitched shrieking noise.

The minute it touched down, it was a mad dash. We didn’t know what we were doing. We just went with the flow.

Eventually we found ourselves packed onto a bus and overheard someone say we were being shuttled to Customs.

We went through metal detectors and I set off the alarm (perhaps it was my metal-studded belt?). But no one was paying attention.

19. You’ll have to haggle over a taxi into Tangier Ville, as they call the downtown area.

Our driver was OK with 20€ until another man upped the charge and he suddenly wanted 25€.

He only got 20, as I was counting out centimes to even get that much. He was not amused but decided to let it go.

20. Sometimes your train leaves at an ungodly hour.

Yes, I’m glad there was still one running. But I do wish the guy who sold us the ticket had informed us that we’d have to transfer. (We figured that out on our own when we didn’t see Fès on the list of stops).

21. Morocco is one hour behind Spain.

We ate dinner at the mall across the street and settled back in at the gare (French for train station).

Then Duke noticed the clock. Instead of having an hour before our train left, we had two.

22. Borrow the wifi and get a drink at a nearby hotel.

We spotted the Ibis hotel and headed over there to grab a couple of beers in the dark bar, which reeked of cigarette smoke and had the entire clientele glued to a football (soccer to you Americans) match.

In fact, a waiter taking a break yelled at me as I waited at the bar to order our drinks. Turns out I had the nerve to stand in his line of vision of the big-screen TV.

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Leaving Fès was sad — but a heck of a lot easier than getting there

23. Once you get to Fès in the middle of the night, be wary of taxi drivers randomly calling out your riad.

For some reason, our train was an hour early, so we worried if there’d be someone to meet us. Boy, were we relieved when a man called out the name of our riad. Turns out he wasn’t affiliated with Riad Dar Bensouda at all. It seems some of them just call out the more popular riads and lure you in that way.

We didn’t know this, though — we were just relieved to have what we thought was a pre-arranged trip to our riad.

24. We can’t recommend just walking away, telling the driver if he wants to get paid he’ll have to do so at the riad.

But of course, tired and grumpy, not wanting to get taken advantage of, that’s what we did. I just started wheeling my suitcase through the gate into the medina, telling Duke to follow me. We didn’t have a single dirham to our names.

The taxi driver threatened to get the police…but eventually ended up trailing after us.

We had no idea where we were going. It was 2:45 a.m. Ahead of us was a dimly lit maze. Turns out our driver didn’t know where he was going, either.

Eventually, he enlisted the help of a boy, who led us through the winding warren. My exhausted brain kept thinking, “Well, this is it. We’re gonna get knifed in some dark alley.”

And then, suddenly, we stopped in front of a rather nondescript door. We had arrived.

Final Advice

After our ordeal, we’re thinking it might be worthwhile to hire a tour company to arrange the trip from Spain to Morocco.

There are probably some things they can’t control, but it’d be nice to cede responsibility to more capable hands.

Or, it might be better to fly — even if that means going out of your way.

We found flights that went up to Barcelona and then to Fès. We thought it was silly to fly north to then fly south. But that actually might be less of a hassle.

Anyway you slice it, though, getting from Málaga to Fès is a challenge. Hopefully our experience makes your journey a bit easier — or at least lets you know what to expect (and what not to do).  –Wally

MORE ON MOROCCO: Kitties, genies, souks and more!

The Worst Chauffeur in India

We wouldn't have been surprised to find our car up in a tree, like this one you pass on the way to the Mews at Udai Bilas Palace

When we tried to leave Dungarpur, our driver was nowhere to be found. What ensued has become a story we can laugh about…now.

We had heard that you should expect the unexpected in India — especially when it comes to travel plans. We hadn’t experienced anything too egregious, our two-hour wait for a driver to Dungarpur aside.

Well, that was nothing compared to what happened when we tried to leave Dungarpur.

“George recognized the word “police.”
“I don’t like the sound of that,” he said.”

The day started off pleasantly enough. After breakfast, we explored a temple complex not far from our heritage hotel, Udai Bilas Palace, where a brahmin greeted and welcomed us. The complex has several lingams (a phallic representation of the Hindu god Shiva) and a shrine to Krishna.

A lingam, which is really just a stylized penis meant to represent the god Shiva

“This Car Is Going Nowhere”

When we checked out at noon, we learned that our driver was unable to meet us, but that it he would be no more than an hour.

In the interim, we went and sat beside the pool and ordered some snacks to nibble on before our return trip to Baroda.

At one point, a supervisor stopped by our table and asked if we would be amenable to him contacting our driver to see what the situation was.

As the man was speaking on his mobile phone, George recognized the word “police.”

“I don’t like the sound of that,” George said.

The supervisor hung up the phone and told us that our driver had had an accident but was OK. Except that he was currently being held at the police station.

It became clear that we wouldn’t be leaving any time soon.

This prompted George to contact the company we had hired the driver through, TaxiForSure. They had a completely different account of the unfolding events: It was an accident. The car just had to be fixed, but we can leave soon. Maybe today. Tomorrow at the latest. Two days tops.

I was worried about getting back to Baroda in time for our flight the next morning. Wally, on the other hand, was enjoying himself, lounging in the sun and telling me repeatedly that there are worse ways to spend a day.

The supervisor left for the local police station with a promise to update us on the situation. When he returned, he showed us pictures of the badly damaged sedan. The driver’s side was crushed in, both windows smashed.

“This car is going nowhere,” he said.

We Get the Real Story

Turns out our driver was in jail, waiting for the commissioner, who would or would not show up within the next several hours. We learned that our driver, probably excited to be on his own with a vehicle, had left the complex and gone for a joyride. We’re not sure he was drinking — but it wouldn’t surprise us if he was eager to get some booze in his system, living as he does in Gujarat, a dry state (something to do with Gandhi being from there, George explained).

The car had gone off the road into a ditch and flipped over. Fortunately he was fine, but unfortunately for us, we no longer had transport back to Vadodara.

Thankfully, the hotel made arrangements for a new driver. Our driver took the state highway and we were back in Baroda within a few hours.

The ride was cheaper (and much more pleasant) than our trip to Dungarpur, and our driver was courteous, so we tipped him extravagantly. It wasn’t that much money to us — equal to a taxi ride across Chicago, say — but the man acted like he had just won the lottery. He thanked us profusely and offered us all bidis, tiny cigarettes hand-rolled in leaves. –Duke

The Unpleasant Experience of Hiring a Driver in India

Darkness turned to daylight as we awaited our driver. At least we had stray dogs to keep us company

Our road trip from Baroda to Dungarpur taught us not to expect your driver to speak English, show up on time or care about your sanity.

We weren't having any luck finding a driver who spoke English. (Prakash informed us that people who spoke English got the good jobs, and apparently “chauffeur” doesn’t fit into that category.)

An online search revealed a company called TaxiForSure. It seemed professional. It was also pretty much our only option. So we arranged transport to Dungapur. We requested a pick-up of 5 a.m. According to Google Maps, it’s a pretty straightforward four-hour drive from Baroda.

“A sullen, if handsome, 20-something driver showed up, playing what seemed to be techno versions of Bollywood music blared at full volume.”

At 5 the next morning, our friend and host George got a confirmation text from TaxiForSure, which provided the driver’s name, license plate number and estimated arrival time.

A few minutes later, he received a call from someone at TaxiForSure, who regretted to inform us that our original driver would not be coming — his car broke down.

I’d like to point out that no matter how much you try to plan, things can change unexpectedly (and inevitably, it seems), for India moves in its own unpredictable way.

We were waiting outside in front of George’s apartment building (he calls it his “tenement”). George saves his kitchen scraps to leave outside for the cows. As he was tossing a bag onto the heap, a neighbor who was up early yelled at him, telling him not to just throw it there — that there’s an actual place to leave food scraps down the street near the ashram. The neighbor was just doing his part to attempt to reduce the ridiculous amount of garbage strewn about. Indeed, everywhere you go, you see cans, paper and plastic bags picked at and chewed on by rats, jackdaw birds, stray dogs and cows.

How “OK, OK” Can Mean Anything But

We waited. George called back after a half-hour had passed, and then again every 15 minutes. The conversations went something like this:

“The driver is in the area.”

“The driver is very close.”

“The driver is 3 to 5 minutes away.”

“The driver is 2 to 3 minutes away.”

George hung up in a huff. “Indians will always tell you, ‘OK, OK,’” he said. “But that doesn’t mean anything. It can mean he’s hours away, or he could be here in 5 minutes. I’ve learned they tell you what you want to hear — even if it’s not the truth.”

Two hours in total had passed before George received another text from TaxiForSure.

Your taxi has arrived.

It was now 7 a.m.

Beep! Beep! A sullen, if handsome, 20-something driver named Pankach, who only spoke Gujarati showed up, playing what seemed to be techno versions of Bollywood music blared at full volume, which we endured the entire trip.

Before we left Baroda, he pulled the car over, and a man approached and gave him a bag full of clothes. Then our road trip was in full swing.

Road Trippin'

Once we were outside the city limits, the scenery changed, and we began to pass rural homes, which were transformed into hand-painted advertisements for the sturdy but humble materials cement and brick.

Many of the signs touted Ambuja Cement. The company's logo is a comically proportioned man with a tiny head and a ginormous right bicep embracing a pair of buildings.

Elaborate conical Hindu temples dotted the landscape, confections in bubblegum pink, white, mint and lemon yellow. Cloth flags atop spires fluttered in the breeze.

We weren't sure we were ever going to make it. But we were finally en route to Dungapur, otherwise known as the City of Hills, located at the southernmost Aravalli mountains of Rajasthan.

We almost got used to the Bollywood Molly dance party in the car. Almost. –Duke

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“No matter how much you try to plan, things can change unexpectedly (and inevitably, it seems), for India moves in its own unpredictable way.”